The toxic dance: Step by step!
"Listen closely to the music that plays inside your heart."
Relationship.; the state of being related or interrelated; act or effect of relating.
We're so damn familiar with people talking about relationships that I'm tempted to think that most people have no idea what that really means.
The variety of relationships that can exist is countless! If we look more closely, we’ll notice that we have different relationships with every single thing. It can be with ourselves, with friends, family, animals, objects, creativity, partners…
But when does a relationship become toxic?
I ain’t gonna lie, last night I was getting ready to go to bed when I saw my reflection in the mirror. I looked deep into my eyes and asked myself “Milene, what do you need?”. Then I understood how I was relating to myself throughout that day. For example, although I wanted to go out (or thought I did just because it was Saturday night) that wasn't what I needed at all, I needed to rest, save energy and work on myself so I could wake up feeling good today. Not surprisingly, I noticed that it changes every single day. What I needed last week is not what I need now.
It sounds pretty basic, doesn't it? But do we really consider these kinds of thoughts? I know and you know that we don't.
I myself feel that sometimes I’m fighting something, or that I am unconsciously denying my own needs and this causes me a lot of pain (unnecessary pain). Usually, if we make an effort, we can see whenever we really need something. Most of the time we simply ignore this and completely lose ourselves in our own feelings, the worst thing is that we keep blaming others and making excuses just because we aren’t brave enough to face it and do what really needs to be done in a healthy way for us.
A relationship becomes toxic whenever the soul stops dancing the melody that it was supposed to be dancing.
In a conventional romantic relationship we can notice that the 'toxic' starts deep down. Even if people understand each other verbally and physically, the relationship will not be healthy if souls aren’t dancing to the same rhythm.
This feeling of wanting to fix things and solve problems is natural for us humans. And I believe that’s why we can't just let it go, grieve for a while and just hope it heals. Is it easier to fight and drown in tears, break our hearts and dwell on illusions?
It can be the same with ourselves. Why can’t we just leave a bad job and fight hard for our dreams? I could apply this to countless examples.
I do believe that a large part of the population is suffering because they do not know how to relate to themselves. I can't blame them! It's not easy at all!
I'm 22 years old and only today I truly realised that the key to my happiness is having a good relationship with myself. And these words can sound empty or too obvious. But I invite you to go deeper and listen carefully to the music that plays inside your heart and learn every step of this dance!
Keep your soul dancing!